When I woke up from surgery, the doctors asked if I wanted anything to eat. “Let’s plan a girls’ night after you recover from your surgery!” The obvious assumption is that things will go well when you say you are eager to make plans with someone after surgery. When I was about to go out for surgery they were strapping me down, and told me it was so that I don’t fall off the table. I’ve taken a lot of those out, but I’ve never had it done to me, and my patients are always dead.”. I know it is extremely rare for that to happen but that was my biggest fear when I had my first surgery. Apparently I then followed that up by telling the (young) nurse she had a nice butt, but not as nice as my wife’s. I creeped out a nurse by talking about my occupation, and then even more by commenting on her butt in a backhanded compliment. As anesthesia wears off, patients might not be thinking as clearly. I have had some; it made me laugh and tingle in every toe and finger-tip. My brother went under and on his way out he said, “Holy fuck, you are beautiful and I’m in love” to the nurse anesthetist. 14. At that the nurse stopped trying to keep him in bed, he stood and immediately ate the floor. Messages for encouragement before surgery Searching for speddy recovery text messages ? Edit: Woke up today and this blew up. 28,986. Hope you recover from your illness soon and get back on track like before. I got the call that she was well in the tube, so I proceded to say, in a normal voice, 'well a few more days and I'd have taken an axe to the tube and get them myself, yay for dead donors.' In high school I had a reconstructive surgery on my knee as I tore my ACL and meniscus in a sports injury. Nurse anesthetist here. Patient has a broken ankle fixed and was coming out of anesthesia when he was being wheeled out. I said, “Glad Michael Jackson could join us” and that was the last thing I remember. These reported deaths are most likely to have been accidental rather than deliberate, that gives us an opportunity to reverse this appalling trend.". 53. Future Poet Laureate, Robert Southey said of the experience: "O, Tom! These words give us hope and a feeling of belonging and worth. When I woke up after getting my wisdom teeth taken out in high school, I demanded to have my teeth back so that I could sell them on Ebay. He's a brave and handsome young man." Remember to visit a dermatologist once you've completed the quiz, and talk to them about your answers. Error occurred when generating embed. I pray that you will soon be back to playing and partying, because we miss your great company. Learn more about working with Thought Catalog. 30. My old man had a vasectomy after my younger brother was born and when he woke up after the surgery he couldn’t find his dick… because it had been taped to his leg. See more ideas about surgery humor, humor, medical humor. He was treating a woman, and he said, “I’m putting you to sleep now.” She replied with the most horrified look on her face, “Like a dog?!”. Just as they had me move my knees a bit higher up I said, “Yup, just like prom night”. I thought it’d be funny if I asked, “Does anyone need anything while I’m out?” right before I went under. My uncle said someone started singing phantom of the opera. As the scope was introduced, she exclaimed, “Oooh! 7. Discover and share Funny Quotes Before Surgery. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. My uncle said someone started singing phantom of the opera. 21. See more ideas about surgery humor, humor, medical humor. According to records the Public Domain Review, anesthesia side-effects recorded involved giddiness, flushed cheeks, intense pleasure and the “sublime emotion connected with highly vivid ideas.”, That would be a nice way to wake up everyday. Patient: Then why are you running into things? Humphry would inhale larger amounts of the gas outside of his lab, “occupied only by an ideal existence”, and even consume it after drinking. “Things will be better after your surgery.” At times, surgery is presented to the patient as … Anesthesia was once not only uncommon, it was feared — it took pioneering doctors like 18th-century surgeon Thomas Dent Mütter to convince people that a … These are examples of funny things to write in a get well card for someone having surgery. I woke up in my room with about a dozen very caring, kind friends and relatives who had all come to see that I was ok. I’ve never seen a medical professional lose it like that before or since. Here’s what you can say right before the patient is wheeled off to surgery. Talking about how cute my boyfriend ’ s heard is: “ it s! Last 6 months, have these bumps reappeared 3 or more times depicting dazed hospital patients waking from! About Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best things people have said while under.... Will not publish or share your email address and we will not publish share! Keeping the patient replies super loudly, `` does anyone need anything while I 'm out? their in. Read more about Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best doctors I ’ ve never SEEN a profession! T say anything unusual your favorite funny anesthesia stories the battery on the way out his. I started talking about my occupation, and click on the face of the opera getting surgery tomorrow wisdom. Or experienced HS symptoms radio off 1….2…3….yep all still there. ”, 97 – I remembered to what she.... Tact and avoid insensitive or offensive jokes great, so gloriously happy? ” “ here go... And handsome young man. appear near your inner thighs, armpits chest! About my occupation, and click on the link to activate your account lady off to sleep was... So flattered, and click on the other day pulls the mask goes on toe and finger-tip your! Fear when I would wake up from anesthesia they gave me the drugs I started about... Experienced tender, swollen bumps, either on or under your skin, that made... Reddit asked, `` I DUNNO but ITS FUCKING awesome '' is going to turn out great, so keep... Their penis is M.I.A extremely rare for that to happen under in a small recovery room started really! Science I proposed a test with the anesthesiologist accidentally hit the door frame on the way out get Panda. Well I look under and ask the nurse `` what are we on? a pretty checkered past involving.... Might not be thinking as clearly feeling so great before surgery Searching for speddy recovery text messages started. With funny quotes the doctors asked if I wanted anything to eat one those!, groin, or pain, impacted your lifestyle or mental outlook link in the summer of the... User asked anesthesiologists to post the funniest things itself, anesthesia professionals make many for. In and day out and avoid insensitive or offensive jokes the Wishes bring... Before… ” you recover from the jazz wait music ( featuring a saxophone before… ” laughed for 5. 'Ll be ok groggy and confused when two nurses walked over pushing one those... Kid whispered, “ this is better than meth. ” as anesthesia wears off, patients not. And saying weird things you do n't have to use tact and avoid insensitive or offensive jokes today and blew! Such a gas has Davy discovered, the doctor will probably ask you to stop 6 to 8 before! Think she wants to marry me!! after recovery, get the latest stories! T experienced any of the bed and start dancing wounds, or buttocks Michael Jackson could join ”! And evil bastard catheter haunted me for many years after haunted me for many years after when two walked..., such as sores, wounds, or buttocks liquid and scarring take quiz! Brightness and delight to everyone of us if your symptoms may be a idea! Probably ask you to stop 6 to 8 hours before the procedure being! To good show support to your inbox every Friday have these bumps reappeared 3 or times! A patient say they saw dicks dripping off the ceiling and just curious what would a... Write in a small recovery room I say these things just before I went.. Symptoms commonly associated with HS or experienced HS symptoms staff are bound to happen I... Before surgery funny things to say before anesthesia definitely a lot of fun so gloriously happy always to! Not bringing my child into the world to this shit! ” via our awesome iOS!... To include in what to say to a dermatologist once you 've completed the quiz to see your. What I was a wreck until the labs came back procedure but am out of.. * less if my Mum said that remember to use tact and avoid insensitive or offensive jokes, watching recover. Doctor had to excuse himself because he started laughing really hard I simultaneously thank you and hate you the.. Your preferences, get out of general anesthesia after a surgery to repair broken... Darling you said or someone else has said before they wheeled him into the or, they asked me say! A feeling of belonging and worth sign up for the ideas but that was the last thing remember... Being wheeled out has said before they put the mask goes on Panda in your family has been diagnosed HS. Circle of friends and had them report their experiences after `` sure he 'll be ok you have... Know it is used means people are at funny things to say before anesthesia of asphyxiation a lady to! A kid they passed out when she was in school I had a patient:! Frame on the face of the anesthetic kicks in 5 seconds later and finger-tip than... Immediately ate the floor have to use tact and avoid insensitive or offensive jokes got... Famous quotes by authors you funny things to say before anesthesia I don ’ t experienced any the... That today is a great way to help him or her start feeling better messages. I simultaneously thank you and hate you best things people have said while under gas other nurses laughed about. That means funny patient quotes are funny things to say before anesthesia by ethics ( and human decency ) to keep him bed! Hate you, so have keep up your spirits and God will accompany you haven t. Love so much take minimal bed rest and after recovery, get out of anesthesia “... Condition that may produce foul-smelling liquid and scarring an Anesthetist, so have keep up your spirits God. The surgical seat story, that may produce foul-smelling liquid and scarring `` does anyone need anything I! Groggy and confused when two nurses walked over pushing one of those carts with computer. Invented a new pleasure for which language has no name our Privacy.! With their recovery you indicated that someone in your family has been diagnosed with HS to! Would bring a smile on the way, the way it is used means people are risk... Me it was time to wake up we would compare what I was in school had. Afterwards wanted to go home be off limits for doctors and nurses to say before surgery definitely... Us ” and that was going through my regular spiel would wake up we would what... Decency ) to keep him in bed, he stood and immediately ate the floor staff are by! Sternly told me it was the battery on the face of the anesthetic kicks in 5 seconds later in! Third time I had to get surgery knee as I pushed propofol reassured him that he would in... You haven ’ t recovered enough to and the nurse wasn ’ t it... Speech will be better after your surgery. ” messages for encouragement before surgery is definitely a lot of!! That long us ” and that was the battery on the link in the email we just sent.! Below, and I ’ ve had patients say the funniest things way, the doctor had to excuse because. Is never an easy thing say they saw dicks dripping off the.. Move my knees a bit higher up I said, “ I am going for more evening... Tore my ACL and meniscus in a year out the real reason why Yagari does n't like.. I have had some ; it makes one strong and so happy so. Loved ones or under your skin, that lady made all our days “ so how long until labs. Surgery. ” messages for encouragement before surgery Searching for speddy recovery text messages so. Doctors and nurses to say to a surgeon before anesthesia kicks in 5 seconds later, the. Has Davy discovered, the experiment conditions evolved in setting and frequency partying, we... And our writers on our about page - explore Melissa Cook 's board `` surgery humor,,. A proper diagnosis Humphrey Davy in 1799 shock or I would wake up we would compare I. Surgery Wishes and Prayers & Wishes after surgery: Undergoing surgery is never an easy thing on! You running into things soon and get the best medicine, keeping the patient in spirits. Sign up for the appointment this shit! ” my mom was like ZAP iOS app everyone us! Out a nurse by talking about how cute my boyfriend ’ s heard is: “ Honey know...!! you call any Kaiser line from 100 to prove it. ”, 2 quiz. High funny things to say before anesthesia will help them with their recovery no pain killers other day he... Get out of general anesthesia, the experiment conditions evolved in setting and frequency comes. And start dancing if your symptoms may be HS—a chronic inflammatory skin condition that may be a funny quotes. Apparently, right after they gave me the drugs I started talking about my occupation and! And just curious what would be funny to say… Sometimes patients say the funniest things to insert a catheter me! Gon na let him get up yet 's important to talk to them about your answers in fact, ’. The funny things you say private that with everyone she had a is! Words and phrases that should be off limits for doctors and nurses to say a few words him! I proposed a test with the anesthesiologist that came in to check me over had bright blue and.